just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
where does the pee come out of this thing
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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