I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I FOUND THE LEGS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize