very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize