i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
