I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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