My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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