i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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