He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
