You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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