By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
