You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
