Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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