woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
handjob tips. give me some.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
