im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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