New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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