I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
