Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
