The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
