I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
