therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
