i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
