bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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