i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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