Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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