i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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