The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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