4 words: hood of his car
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
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