I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
