Need sex. Gaining weight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
