i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm always down for nudity.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize