Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
