I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the day after is always just damage control
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
