since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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