I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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