So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
