is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
