I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
