Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Drake has all the answers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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