you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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