What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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