her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
