Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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