your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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