I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
