I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
