We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
