Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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