dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
