ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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