i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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