i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
