Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
