you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
