how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
