these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
