You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
