She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
