Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Someone came in the potted fern
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
