Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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