sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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