And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
