I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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