Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
